Sunday, January 9, 2011

My Random Rant on Twilight

Okay, so believe it or not, this post isn't gonna be about me hurting myself!

It's about me almost hurting someone else.

Ya see, if I don't vent about how much I hate Twilight, one day I might just snap and punch somebody.

Let's get started!

"What would I do without Edward?"
"I need him like air to breathe!"
"Who needs friends that don't want to eat you?!"

Now what vampire-loving, catch-22 obsessed albino do I sound like?

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know how popular the Twilight series has become. Over 17 million copies of the first book have been sold in the U.S., and 42 million worldwide.

Now what makes this series so popular, you ask? Well, I've narrowed it down to three options:

1. It's an easy read.
2. Everybody wants to see what the big deal is about.
3. Desperate people enjoy reading about how "flawless," "perfect," and "sparkly" Edward is.

Frankly, I think everybody is getting WAY too obsessed over Twilight. When I see "I Heart Sparkly Guys" t-shirts in the hallway, it makes me wonder what people did BEFORE Twilight came out.

I'd like to just point that I have nothing against Washingtonians or Stephenie Meyer. In fact, I congratulate her on the success of her novels. AS for the Washingtonians... congratulations, your tourism income probably has increased by 50% since Twilight came out.

Speaking of which, I wonder what life has been like for the people who live in the real Forks, Washington. Do they have a sign as you're entering the town that says, "Welcome to Forks, home of the Cullens?" or "Forks, WA- where the largest newborn vampire showdown took place?"

And is the ballet studio in Pheonix where Bella let herself get beat up now a national landmark?

Anyways, the point I'm trying to make with this article is that TWILIGHT IS NOT REAL. I'll say that again. VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES DO NOT EXIST.

Sorry if I disappointed you.

~Kim~

P.S. I miss the good old days, when "twilight" meant the sun going down...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Self Defense (Practice?)

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but some days when I'm doing something dangerous, risky, or just plain stupid, I hurt other people along with myself.

Today was one of those days.

So remember how in "World's Most Dedicated Fake Baby Babysitter" I mentioned I would tell Nathan that I almost lost his baby when we were done with our self-defense unit in gym? Well, today we had some Tae-Kwon-Do guy teach us some ways to defend ourselves. And let's just say he'd never want me in his class.

We were practicing what to do if some creeper guy tries to choke you from behind. I got out, but when I got to the palm-to-the-nose part, I accidentally hit him. Hard. Very hard. So hard I gave him a bloody nose and he had to excuse himself from class for a couple minutes.

I apoligized like a million times, but the guy said it was okay because he gets accidentally hit all the time. Poor guy.

But then he started messing with me. When we were practicing how to flip people, he made me flip the other guy instead of him. Then the other guy was like, "I don't want her to hurt me!"

But I flipped that guy anyways. And I don't know if it was the fact that we were on a springboard, but the guy made a pretty loud thud.

Well, here's today's summary:

Kim + Tae-Kwon-Do guy = KATASTROPHIE!

~Kim~

P.S. When I saw the Tae-Kwon-Do guy after school, he was holding a Kleenex to his nose. I'm going with the story that it was the dry air.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Blog Action Day 2010

Well, this has been an awkward day.

First, I run up to a police officer and tell him my friend's flour is missing. Then, I realize I'm late for Blog Action Day.

Again. For the second year in a row.

So here goes tonight's second post. The theme is- water!

Okay, I'm just gonna start out by saying I hate it when people say water doesn't have a taste, because it does. They say it tastes like nothing, but really, how do you know what nothing tastes like, because, I mean, it's nothing!

Well, now that that's out of the way, I'm going to talk about the real issue- water pollution!

I'm gonna cut straight to the chase when I say I bet fish hate us. I don't blame them. We throw a bunch of trash and stuff into their home, and then they die. Who wouldn't be angry?

Next point. Disney's whole "Friends for Change" thing. I have to say, I admire and hate this program. It's great when little kids see their idols like Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato helping to save the earth, but who says that those overpayed Disney stars actually do anything to save water? It's not like they can't afford to pay the water bill or anything.

Disease. That's what's happening in places like India, where the Ganzes River will supposedly heal you of all wounds and illnesses if you drink from its water. Yep. If typhoid and cholera is considered healing.

Okay, I realized my post is kinda choppy, but I'm tired and just wanna go to bed.

Next. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know about BP's fantastic little "promotional stunt," where an estimated 190,120,055 gallons of oil was leaked into the Gulf of Mexico. Now thousands of animals have suffered, beaches have closed, and BP is favorited to win Repower America's 2010 Snake Oil Award. Quite an honor. I bet their ex-CEO is proud.

Well, it's already almost 10, and my brain stops functioning around 3:30 PM, so I'll stop going all hippie on you and do everybody a favor and go to sleep. Night.

~Kim~

P.S. 78% of people think water has a taste.
P.P.S. I made that statistic up. ;)

World's Most Dedicated Fake Baby Babysitter

Now, looking at the title, you're guessing my post is gonna be about some lady in China who sacrificed herself to save her daughter's doll, right?

Wrong.

You see, it all started Monday. Well, actually, it technically started Tuesday. Anyways, that was the day the health class's baby project started.

You know the project I mean, right? The one where you have to carry your sack of flour around with you everywhere and if someone sees it alone they'll steal it and bring it into the health teacher to get the $5 they were promised?

(Okay, well maybe not that last part.)

Anyways, I don't have health this semester, I have gym. So a lot of times, my friends in health will be like, "Kim, can you watch my baby?" Of course, I can't say no. So I pretty much just stand there holding a doll for who knows how long.

Well, today I was watching my friend Nathan's baby Clarice. He was in the lunch line, and I wasn't eating lunch because I had a big breakfast. All the sudden, I hear someone say, "Kim!" I turn around, and it's my friend Dayna, who I haven't seen in like forever! So run over to her table to talk.

5 minutes later...

Oh my God. The baby's gone.

So I'm on the verge of a panic attack, Dayna's wondering what the heck is going on, and somewhere some babynapper who needs some cash is running around with a sack of flour.

Now I'm thinking, "what do I do? Nathan's gonna fail and it'll be all my fault! And some low-life is gonna get $5 because of it!" I look around, and lo-and-behold (I've always wanted to say that), it's the school police officer!!!

So I run up to him, feeling like an idiot and say the stupidest thing ever-

"My friend's flour is missing!"

The guy kinda looked confused, until I explained about the baby project. He just laughed and said he'll look around.

(Nathan is still in the lunch line while this is going on.)

So I go back to the table, trying not to hypervenilate, and watch the police officer walk around the cafeteria. I hold my breath when he stops some girl putting a sack of flour in her bag. He pulls it out, and it's- Clarice! I walk over to the police officer and thank him. The girl just rolls her eyes and says a word that-shall-not-be-named.

And before Nathan gets out of the lunch line, I have Clarice back on the table, and I'm studying for the English quiz tomorrow that I'm gonna fail.

And I just laugh when he jokingly pretends to feed Clarice some Sun Chips.

Sure, maybe I'll tell him the whole story some day. Like in December, when we're done with our self-defense unit in gym.

~Kim~

P.S. I'm Clarice's godmother.:)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Canadian Thanksgiving

In my defense, the reason I haven't been able to do a post in a while is because I've been busy. School started September 1st, and since then my day has been packed.

6:30 Wake Up and Get Ready
7:00 Eat Breakfast
7:20 Leave for School
8:00-3:20 School. The highlight of my day. (That was sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell.)
3:45-6:00 Cross Country
6:30 Eat dinner
7:15 Homework
9:00 Bed

Don't freak out at me for going to bed early. I need sleep. 3+ miles a day wears me out, all right?!

So yeah. I hope everybody's school year has been going well. Mine's been, well, intersting. I have a teacher who talks about his ex-girlfriends ALL THE TIME. Most of them don't even tie in to what we're talking about.

I know that he kinda sounds like a fun teacher, but he's actually pretty strict. Last week, he held me after class to lecture me because I circled my answers instead of boxing them in. And I am SO not making that up.

Oh hey, guess what?! I saw a freshman get trash canned the first day of school!

Then again, he kinda had it coming. He was making fun of a senior varsity football player's haircut. Hehe. Smart move. (That was sarcasm, too.)

Well, I guess you're wondering what the heck the title of my post is about. Yesterday was Thanksgiving in Canada.

"But wait a minute Kim! Thanksgiving is an American holiday, right?"

Yep. I mean, since when do Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving, the day our first president was born???

That was a joke, by the way.

So I Googled "Canadan Thanksgiving." They asked me if I meant "Canadian Thanksgiving." I said "yes."

Here were the results:
Looking for Canadian Thanksgiving? Find exactly what you're looking for today!
Thanksgiving (Canada)- Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Pumpkin Bread Recipe for Canadian Thanksgiving
What is Canadian Thanksgiving, Anyway?

I picked that last one. It was pretty much a Q&A.

So, when is it?

It's the second Monday in October.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Thanks.

Why is it called Canadian Thanksgiving?

It's not. In Canada, it's just called Thanksgiving.

But why is it so early in the fall?

Because Canada is colder and the harvest ends sooner.

If you were in Canada with your family, what would be for dinner?

Same stuff: turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, gravy, and mashed potatoes, which, if you're my grandmother, you mix with turnips. Also, candied yams. And pumpkin pie for dessert.

Does everyone crowd around the TV after dinner to watch football?

The guys do, yeah.

Is it always on October 11th?

No. Since 1957, it's been celebrated on the second Monday in October. Before that, it was celebrated on November 11, which is the date of another mysterious Canadian holiday called Remembrance Day, when you make sure to call your grandfather, or anyone else you know who fought in a war. Long before it had National Holiday status, however, the harvest was celebrated by natives.

What's the holiday all about?

It's a celebration of the harvest, where you give thanks (to God, technically) for all the food you get to eat. For the most part, it's celebrated as a secular holiday, though.

What about settlers and Pilgrims—are they involved?

According to Google, the first Canadian Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1578 when a lost English explorer named Martin Frobisher landed in what is now the butt of many Canadian jokes—Newfoundland. But as a public-school-educated kid who was taught all kinds of Canadian things growing up, that's the first I've ever heard of it, or him.

So, really, it's all about the food.


Yeah.

Do Canadians have their big dinner on the actual day of Thanksgiving?

Canadians are practical and Monday is a school night, so usually not. The big dinner is traditionally the night before, on the Sunday.

Are things closed on Thanksgiving like they are in the Unites States?

Yes, although if you live in Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, or Prince Edward Island it's not a statutory holiday, which means it's not a paid day off. But most stores are closed.

Is the day after Thanksgiving the biggest shopping day of the year?

Nope. That would be Boxing Day, yet another mysterious Canadian holiday, which is the day after Christmas. It's when everyone returns the stuff they got for the stuff they actually want, but for cheaper.

That was very helpful. (Not sarcasm.)

Kim

P.S. One of the comments on the article said, "Canadian Thanksgiving is the day when all the Canadians give thanks they're not American." Hehe. Good one.

Source: O'Connor, Siobhan. "What is Canadian Thanksgiving, Anyways?." GOOD (2010): n. pag. Web. 12 Oct 2010. .

Hey, I don't want to get arrested for plagiarism, alright?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I Can't Really Think Of A Title Because This Post Is About A Bunch Of Stuff Because I Haven't Done A Post In A Long Time

First, that was a really long title.
Second, I'm sorry I haven't done a post in a while. But I have a good reason.

I was too lazy to.

Haha, just kidding. Sort of. Actually, I've been the opposite of lazy. I've been busy. Well, I've been so busy that I'm lazy when I do have free time. Does that make sense?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

So about a week after I published my last post I left on another mission trip, this time to Rapid City, South Dakota. (12 hour drive :P) I worked in a home for people with special needs. And when I got back, I spent most of my time taking decent showers and getting back into shape at cross country camp. And then at the beginning of August, I had a backpacking trip with my church. I still have mosquito bites. But heck, I can't complain. I'm just thankful I didn't fall 200 feet on one of the 3-foot-wide ledges.

Hehe.

And then the night I get back I have to get up at 4 in the morning so we can leave early for vacation. Darn it. (I meant to the getting up part... not the vacation part.)

So yeah. We got back almost a week ago. But "official" cross country practice started Monday, and that goes from 8-10:30. It's pretty brutal. Yesterday...

~I logged 7 miles.
~I did 45 push-ups.
~I did a lot of curl-ups. I lost count after 78.

I kinda wish they'd be easier on the freshman. But the coaches know what they're doing, I guess.

So by the time I get back I just go back to sleep. But by then the sun's up so I usually just kinda lay there and suck down water.

Well, that's what I've been up to this summer. No major injuries to report. Except for... wait, I don't want people to know about that. It's too embarrassing. Hehe.

Fine, quit begging, I'll tell you.

When I was running at cross country camp, I was on a trail across from the golf course. And some guy trying to show off to his golfing buddies by hitting a ball from across the street hit me on his backswing.

I guess it's kinda my fault, I didn't even see him. But I'm not sure it's even legal to hit a golf ball across one of the busiest streets in town.

I hope everybody had a good summer and good luck this year in school!

Well, we can all hope. ;)

~Kim~

P.S. One of the coaches said she was impressed how "graceful my form was." Ha. Wait 'til she gets to know me.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

iPod

GUESS WHAT?! I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE FRIDAY NIGHT I GOT AN IPOD NANO!!! AND NOW I CAN'T STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!!

SO AS OF NOW, I HAVE 76 SONGS ON IT. I ALSO GOT AN ARMBAND THINGY THAT YOUR IPOD FITS INTO SO YOU CAN RUN WITH IT.

WHAT IF I'M SO DISTRACTED WHILE LISTENING TO MY IPOD THAT I DON'T SEE A PERSON OR CAR OR POTATO OR SOMETHING IN FRONT OF ME AND I TRIP OVER IT AND FALL INTO THE CONSTRUCTION ZONE ON THAT ONE STREET AND GET JACKHAMMERED? (IS THAT A WORD?)

BUT THAT'S JUST A WORST-CASE SCENARIO. (EXCEPT WITH MY LUCK, IT BECOMES A LOT MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN.)

SO ANYWAYS, I LISTEN TO MY IPOD ABOUT 14 HOURS A DAY. (THE OTHER TEN HOURS I'M SLEEPING AND IT'S CHARGING.) HOWEVER, I DON'T THINK MY PARENTS ARE AS PROUD OF THAT FACT AS I AM:

Mom: Kim, if you listen to that iPod a lot with the earphones in, you'll go deaf.
Kim: WHAT??????
Mom: I said, IF YOU USE THOSE EARPHONES A LOT, YOU'LL GO DEAF!!!
Kim: WHAT?!?!
Mom: (pulls earphones out of Kim's ears.) TAKE A BREAK!!!
Kim: First of all, ow. And second, fine.
Dad: If you listen through earphones a lot, the risk of ear infection goes up 700%!
Mom: ...
Kim: ...
Dad: What? It's true.
Kim: Okay, fine. I'll just take out the earphones, turn the iPod up really loud, and we can ALL listen to it!!!
Mom: ...
Dad: ...

OKAY, SO MAYBE IT DIDN'T GO EXACTLY LIKE THAT.

~Kim~

P.S. THAT FACT ABOUT EARPHONES INCREASING THE RISK OF EAR INFECTION? IT'S TRUE.